
Qass i' R ^^5^ 

Rnnk . K 2^ 4 J~G 






OB 

A DAY'S PLEASITRE.^^' 



A COMEDY IN THREE ACTSi 
AS PERFORMED AT TtiS 

THEATRE-ROYAL, HAYMARKET, 






BY JAMES KENNEY, Esa. 

9 > 

AUTHOa OF 

H/tising the Wind^-Malrimony — Matchbreaking^ 
&c. r&c. &c. 



NEW^YORK: 

PULISHED BY E. M. MURBKN, 

Circulating Library and Dramalic Repositorij. 

no: 4 CHAMBER-STREET. 



IB'SS. 






^^y 



i)RAMATlS PERSONM 



JInderson - - 
Ma^or AUBREr 
GRev/lle • - 
Mainland - - 
JoHif Buzznr 
Nato't Briggs - 
Jingle - - - 

SjMON - - . - 
Coif STABLE - - 



A/ff^ Faulkner, 
Mr, Younger, 
3Ir. Jones. 
Mr, Johnson, 
Mr TsRRr, 
Mr, W. WEsr, 

Mr' OXBERRr, 

Mr. Tatleure, 
Mr, Hammond. 



Mrs, Anderson 
Mrs. Buzz Br - 

ClfCDllA - - - 

^jiNNr Jingle - 



- Mrs. Johnson, 

- Mrs. Pmarcb. 

- Miss. Botce. 

- Mrs. CHAftrERLET. 



SCENE Richmond, 



TLm-^TH4$i^'^^^m&:JS'rATlON, 



'©f \VAC:M''rJ 



i^i^ 



?) JOHN BUZZBY. 



I ACT I. 

X SCENE I. — Richmond Green, 

\ JSnter Buzzby. 

Bun. Here you are, here you are, John Buzz- 
by, safely lodged upon Richmond Or or?, a ' e^ u- 
tiful day before me, and all my pi; gues b'>?)nd 
me; my wife, thank heaven, ten good inhes m 
the rear. The man in the play the other oight, 
cooWy compares a woman's prattle to a chegnut 
in a famous fire; but for my part, wher^v^r I can 
hear the Park guns, I dread the reverberation of 
Sukey Buzzby 's tongue ; but that for it now, I'll 
have a day's pleasure. I've put her upon a 
wrong scent, and I'll strut joUily up the hill, look 
down upon Twickenham meadows, and see the 
cockney waterman and their sweethearts turn 
out upon the grass, ready to eat it with hunger 
and rurality. Their sweethearts I — Ah! as long 
as that lasts, happy rogues they are. And ecod; 
I've such a sweet sort of a spring feeling coroe 
over me, I could almost — 

Julia enters and examines him. 
Eh ! my fellow traveller ! How very odd she 
should loiter about me in this way. 

Jul. He seems to be alone, and at leisure, aud 
the respectability of his appearance decides me. 

Bus. (after another glance J Pooh ! pooh I 
John, she's a gentlewoman bred and born. 
^ 2 



4 JOHN BUZZBr; OHf 

Jill, yet tlic sin^ularit)— 

^us. Still looltiug at me— 

Jut. I'll veuture notuithslamliug— 8ir-« 

£us. Ma'dni— 

Jul. Sir, l-^laside] SYhy this embarrassment i 

Bus. Bless my soul ! 

Jul. In the request I have to make to you, I 
fear I shall appear exlscmely indiscreet and irre- 
gular, but your obliging behaviour on Oie road— 
[he bows] your opeu and prepossessing touule- 
uance — 
' Btis. Ma*am — [hows] 

Jul* That air ol kindnesg, and at the same time 
of prudenc e — 

Bus. Oh, madam ! — (^ows) 

Jul. I trust I am not inistakep, but your ap» 
pearance and manner altogether «ir, assure mc, 
that in my peculiar situation, you wiil not refuse 
me your coiifidence and protection. 

Buz- Oh I certainly, ma'am, if you'll only ju&t 
mention — (aside) — very odd, too — a deep one, 
perhaps, and takes me for a flat. 

JuL You seem disengaged. 

Bus. At your service, ma'am. 

Jul. Then, sir, is this town is wholly unknown 
to me, will you have the kindness to conduct mc 
where I wish to go, and allow me to accompany 
you on your return to London ? 

Bus Wey really, ma'am, I had a little plan of 
my own, for spending the day, and perhaps.when 
i meution, that I am a married njan^ — 

Jul. 'Tis wiat I could have wished, sir. 

Bus. ( aside j'—Vlxxmh, however ! gad, if Sukey 
heaidher — 

Jul. 'Tis impossible, sir, you should raisiater- 



A DAYS rLEABOBE. .-? 

pret me ; with that respectable appearance, aiid 
ki youi' time of life. 

Bus. Oil, lord ! that's a damper ! 

Jul. If you knew, sir — 

Bus. Yes ma'am, if I knew ; but I know no- 
thing, and certainly ought to know every thing. 

Jul. And when you do know the motives of 
my journey, and how essential it is to my repose, 
that none, either of my friends or family, should 
be acquainted with them, yon will perhaps, re- 
gard my conduct with les^ surprise and more in- 
terest. 

Buz. I have no doubt ma'am and as every 
word you utter increases my curiosity, 1 hope, at 
last, you'll do me the favour to satisfy it. You're 
u gentlewoman, madam. I'm sure of it. Only let 
rae into the secret, and I'm your humble servant. 

Jul. You know this town, sir ? 

Bus. Pretty well, madam., 

Jul. Then, probably, sir, you may knotv where 
Alajor Aubrey lives. 

Bub. Can't say I do, ma'am. 

Jul. Belonging tD the regiment nov7 quarter- 
ed here. 

Bus. Hav'nt the honor of his acquaintance, 
ma'am, but I'll ask about wiih a deal of pleasure. 
There go two of the officers, ma'am ; perhaps 
they can inform us. 

Jul. Do me the favour to enquire, sir. They 
are turniaoj the corner — don't lose a moment. 

Bus. I'm gone, madam. This must be some 
affair of consequence. [Exit. 

Jul. Fortunately, they are turning back, anfl 
Qow he is making bis enquiry. HeaveDS ! can I 



a Ji)HN BUZZEy J OB, 



mistake 1 'lis he — 'tis Greville himself ; should 
l)(j follow ihe <r(^n«leinan, what w ill become of me ?. 
Every hoar ^ives me fresh reasou to repent of 
n>y girlisii folly. To' have been led into a cor- 
respondeace, without an object, and no kind 
friend to v. ani me of the coni-eqisence I Yet 
vho would have suspected Greville to have 
been so ungenerous ? Should my present inten- 
tion be frustrated, and my husband seek a quar- 
rel with him, I dread the cousequeuce. 
Re-enter Blzzby. 

Bus. I have it, madam — cojJd'nt have made 
a more lucky rencontre ; the young gentleman is 
captain in tlie Major's regiment. 

Jul. He is, sir, I know him. 

Bus. Know whom, ma'am, the young man ? 

Jul. That is, I know his uniform, Sir. I 
liojje you didn't tell him who was with you ? 

Bus. Tell him who was — no, ma'ani, no 
I sliould have been rather puzzled to have done 
that, for if you recollect-— 

J21I. You are uninformcil yourself. True, sir. 

Buz. But you'll tell me ail now, I dare say. 
You wnre saying, I think, you know the uniform, 
and you have a particular reason for-— you have 
a pariicular reasou — {in(/uisitivdij) 

.Fid. Sir 1 M'as feaiful, on your asking the 
nsajor's address, that", beiiig a military gentleman, 
aiul accijsloired to gallantry, he might have iubis- 
ted upon conducting me himself. 

Buz. Well, now, I should have though that 
iho very thing for you ; a smart young fellow, 
and» very polite young fellow—- 

Jul, Not for the world, sir. 



A DAY S PLEA5UKE. 7 

i7/.!r. No : I'm the man — trial's (ieclded. And 
pia3" whiit's your objection, ma'am ? 

Jul. The truth is, sir, I know the gentleman 
hijnself, imve known him Irom infancy : our I'a- 
nniies were intimate ; but latterly he has con- 
ducted himselfina manner that — on no account — 

Buz. A h ! the old story 1 but know it I 
must — my cljarftcter— 

Jftl. The major's address, sir, if you please. 

Bvs. Union Street, madam, a propitious 
n-irae, I hope : last hou?e hut one ; o;reen door 
and brass knocker; cross the green and you are 
tliere prfi'^^ently; and as the affair seems to be 
quite out ol my way, ma'am, you'll excuse me 
il— 

Jul. Would you then, leave me, sir, — may 
I not ititreat ol" you to conduct me to the ma- 
jor's ? 

Ihi::. \Y]]y, ma'ara, cnnductinjr a lady in these 
cases, is really such an awkward, secondary sort 
of olHce — 

./«/. Indeed, sir, if you have an evil thought 
of me, yon are utterly mielaken. 

Bus. Why possibly ; but allow me to say, you 
don't seem at all disposf d to enlighten me. I've 
a touch of curiosity, ma'am, as well as the la- 
dies; and like to get at the bottom of all matters 
I meddle with. 

Jul. What, would you ask, sir ? 

Bus- Afk? what do I know, ma'am ?— I'll 
ask that in the first place. Consider ma'nm, you 
a!id I trave! together ; I take you for a reppect- 
able young lady, and you take me for a re?port- 
sb'.e middie-aged genth-man and on the strength 
of that, do me the honor to engage me for the 
A 4 



8 JOHN EUZZBY ; OR; 

ilay ; but in \vliat capacity, ina'am ? ii I squire 
you to liie Major's, what tharactn am I to ap- 
pear in ? I ask a civil question of a young of- 
ficer, and tliat throws you into a violent agita- 
tion ; it's a love affair, ma*am, I presume, and 
I'm only sorry it's made a mystery of ; what 
may be 7/owr object I don't know ; wTiat part the 
major pl?«ys, I won't venture to guess, and as for 
mi[ie — ' 

Jul. AVhen I left London, sir, it did not oc- 
cur to me, in the anxiety of my feelings," how ill 
an impression I might make, in vistiug a gentle- 
man, wliolly unaccompanied, however urgent my 
business ; in ciue time you shall know all you 
wish ; for the present, let it suffice to say, that 
on your support and protection may depend my 
jEiiture repose and hi ppiness. 

Buz. She melts Rjy heart. Madam, I will 
support you. I open my heart to your confi- 
<lence; J sacrifice all to you-;— my walk up the 
Iiill--.n)y dinner at the castle — my life — my wife 
—-^Sifld rtiy precious reputation. ' Commaad rac, 
madam ; I surrender at discretion. 
Greville, wiikoiit. 

Crcv. JNIaitland — ^^this way, thJs way. 

Buz. The young ofl'lcer — 

Jul. Heavens !— 

Grev. Maitland ! 

Jul. Prayi let us avoid him. 

Buz, Avoid him ! — ^^lorwhat? take my aruK 
and fear nothing. * 

Gr€V.-^[Eufer'hiir ftnd inlcrruptinif them] — 
Pardon me, m>«dam-"it was on your befiJjlf, I be- 
lieve, that this Worthy man enquired of me the 
address of— 



J^HN BUZJBY , OR, 9 

Bu:^. Of Major Aubrey. It was, sir, and as 
you were so polite as to inform the Vpithy man, 
weithcr he nor the I'uly desire to give you any 
further trouble. Good moniiDg, sir. 

Gi'cv, One moment, sir. The njaior happens 
to be my particular friend : niy relaiiou indetd , 
and if the lady has business with hun, official or 
otherwise, any service I can render her— ^ 

Bu?. Sir; one service you can render, and only 
one— 

G7€v. Name it. 

J5z^?. Proce(;d on your own business, and allcjf, 
us to mana5:e ours. 

Grev. CStill stopping him. J Sir, as I address^(| 
the lady *twas not from you that I expected my 
answer. 

Bu^, Sir, my answer is the lady's answer, 
"W'hat I say is Avith full power and upon tjie beit 
authority. 

Grcv. What, you are her husband then, or Ii?r 
father, or her guardian ? 

Bu:^. It^s of no consequence wbo I am, sir. I 
the lady refuses your service, she has her reasons, 
and if 1 refuse to explain her motives, I have my 
reasons also. Meddling in business that don^ 
concern one is a very ticlclish sort of thing; take 
my word for it, ihorj^'s no saying Avheve it may 
tnd. You understand me, I dare say. 

Grev. 1 do, sir; aLid if you were but thirty 
years younger — 

Bus. As to my age, sir, if I doa*t mind it. vou 
needn't — damme, sir. 

Jui. (aside) Dear sir— ^ 



10 A BAlf's PLEASURE. 

Bus. Tliis lady is under my protection, and by 
the honor of ilie Buzzby's 1 will protect her. 
Grev. Keep your temj^er, friend, I beg of you. 

Enter Maitland. 

Mail, Where the devil is he ? Who have we 

here ? 

Buz. If yon are Jhis gentleman's friend, sir, I 
recommend you to keep him out of nusciiief. 

MaiL What is (he matter? 

Cnv. IM! tell ymi. 

Buz, Do. Tell Ifinj you have intruded your- 
self on a lady who has been particularly anxious 
to avoid your company. 

Jul. (uneasif.) Bir \ sir ! 

Bit::. Tel! hioi the reception you liave met 
viih. and in the mc-Mi time, >Te'll beg leave to 
proceed on our affairs nithout your aj^sistance — 
and if you have »oy thing fuiUicr to say to me, 
Isere is my card, ^ir — ^^corncr ?hop, and name on 
the door — ycm'II find n^e read}^ to deal with cus- 
tojners of alUorls, and so i^ir, your very humble 
sei vanl. 

\^Exit with Julia. 

AfatL What Tkev have you roused now ? 

Grfv. Ha ! Isa! ha !— -Hosier and habcrdabher. 
Here's a formidahJr chalJeni^e ! 

Mail. What yo« have beeo making love to liis 
^vife ?— 

Chrv. His Wife, hnng it. no, DOt liis w if^, VW 
he Bwoin — Hwaslhe elegact creature on his arm 
I spoke t(\ 

3faiL I g;uess'd se^. Aod why to her ?— what 
pretence had you? 

Grev. Every pretecce, sLe's visiling my uncle; 



JOHN B'JZZBY ; OK, 1 J 

sent her Craubourn Allej- champion to enquire 
his address of nic. Have jou no guess wlio it is ? 

Mait. None. 

Grcv. Wliat! have you never heard me speak 
of a (igure like that, ncconipanied with a certain 
griicp; a CMtain elp'jrince of deportment — 

Mail, The resenli'ul Julia ? — 

Grev. I siispect it. You sliall know presently. 

Mail. Where are you sjoing ? 

Grev. Upon mature consideration, Tarn deter- 
mined to ascertain the factj and know her busi- 
ness with my uncle. 

Mail. Slay! her business with your uncle 
^ou may form some idea of, and the wronijs you 
4jave done her, yoiir very meeting there may pos- 
sibly aggravate. 

Grev. Wron^ ! — upon my soul, you're a plea- 
sant fellow, and with so much charity for one 
fic± and so little mercy for the other, af'mirably 
qHajHied for spoilicsi^ a mistress, or annoyioj^ a 
iriehd. Wrongs truly ! and frowi you — you who 
have just been jiUed—jlited by an anp;el — who, no 
♦loubt, thinks herself wroni!;Vl that you did not 
persecute her, and calls ^om devil for your simpli- 
city. 

Miiii. My case is a mystery, yours is clear 
and UD€qnivoca); if you could set me at ease as 
a companion. V't me be honest as a friend. 

Grcv, Speak out; only give me credit for my 
patience and dociliJy. 

Mait. Your early intimacy with Julia Court- 
my betrays her into a correspondence with you — . 

Grw. Don't remind me of it; such letter*, 
Maiilaud! the wit of Montague, the stase and 



1^ A DAYS PLEASUnE. 

spirit ofDc Sevigne ! — clellglitriil correspondence ! 
■which she thinks proper to lenniDate by marry« 
ino^ niioih^r inau. 

Maii. She hns fulfilled the wish of her friend?, 
j^nd .Tctcd prudently ; but when your levity 
taught hn the indiscretion of her coDd'J't towards 
you, you rrlused iirr the restitution of her letters, 
and you know have rept;atedly made public al- 
lusions to them. TliPFe surely are wrono;s, Gre- 
ville, which it ihis really be the lady, 1 recom- 
mend you immediately to repair. 

Grcv. An<!yo«i would really have nie — 

Mail. Brleily, I would have you ^o home, 
Tiiake a packet of her letters and depute me to fol- 
low tliis lady to your iincJe's, and if she really 
prove to be the ofi'ended Julia, inclose them oa 
your behalf with a handsome apolosjy. 

Grev. "Let him do this, and Cato is his friend.** 
Poor Julia ! and poor Maitbud I for one wants 
just as Mutch humori;]o; ag the other. So to please 
you both, there's the key of my secretary. The 
ietters are already in a packet and the first thingj 
you'll lay your hands on, do what you will willi 
them, I have a pressing engagement and 7iveyoii 
iuil powers, 

Alait. Th\s is more than I hoped for: most 
readily do I accent your trust, and be sure will 
use it for your honor. Til intercept them, be- 
fore they reacii your uncle's, and I hope soon to 
brintr you tidings of rf concilialion. But mind, 
Greville,: while I am brinjiin^ you out of one 
scrape, pray idon't get yourself into another. 

F.xiL 

Anderson EnUr.9, ivhilc 'SIaitla.nd is Sfcalcins^. 
Grcv. lid I ha I ha 



JOHN buzzbt; or, 13 

And. Greville ! this should be the man I seek' 
Sir, your humble servant. CGreville bows. J Your 
name's Greville it seems ? 

Grev. At your service. 

And. You don't know me, perhaps ? 

Grev. I have not that honor; I hope it is now 
intended me. 

And. But, I fancy, Sir, you know a certain 
Mrs. Anderson ? 

Grev. Mrs. Anderson ?— 

And. Or the name of Julia Courtney, may 
possibly be more familiar to you. 

Grev. Julia Courtney I my dear sir, the very 
lady we were speaking of. Julia Courtney, was 
a charming creature, fulJ of beauty, wit, and 
grace, Julia Courtney was to be envied, Mrs. 
Anderson, I fear is to be pitied. Julii Courtney 
had a reputation for taste, Mrs. Anderson they say- 
has spoilt it. Julia Courtney wrote like an an- 
gel, and I verily believe, might have shackled 
nie with the fetters of Hymen, me, Harry Gre- 
ville— aid yet to think, sir, that with such a 
chance, she should give up her young soldier for 
an old sailor, Avho in all probability will lull her 
slumbe.a with tobacco smoke and old stories. 

And. Sir, the lady may possibly imagine bis 
stories to be as good as your jokes, and an old 
sailor's smoke, quite as agreeable as a young 
soldier's vapor ; if she doesn't; she has less taste 
than I gave her credit for. 

Grev. Anderson has an irresistible advocate. 

And. Anderson, sir, is his own advocate. 

Grev. So my penetration suggested. You 
have a treasure, Anderson — I give you joy of it ; 
feiit u xiroa Anrnn^A crucl of you fof all that — I 



li A pay's ?LEASi;Ri&, i 

i 
shonid haye had notice — to break a young man's 
heart ia that abmpt and unmerciful manner! j 

And. No ribaldry sir. We must be serious. : 

Grev. Ribaldry! your cnlicism, Anderson, is j 
as cruel as your cQuduct— but as it's an article 
jMore in fashion, we'll endeavor to overlook it. 

jind. Overlooking won't doou either side. My { 
purpose now is lo tell you in few words, that your \ 
conduct relative to Mrs. Anderson, since she hai; i 
acquired that name, has been unworthy of a man ; 
wf honor. j 

Grcv. Now sir, we will be serious if you ■■. 
|jlease ; our conversation admits but of one cojj- \ 
«:lusioij ; and that must be a summary one. You ' 
mean it, of course ; therefore look for your friend, '■ 
uame your place, and let your time be as short as ; 
possible. i 

And, First, sir, hear me. 

Grev. Don't be tedious, that's all. ' 

And. Mrs. Anderson, sir, h5»s made no secret i 
of her correspondence with you, and had it gone ; 
no further tlian to flatter your vanity and morti- I 
fy hers, no notice would liave been taken of it ; \ 
but when she had formed a serious, and sacred ; 
engagement, to have abused her confidence, tri- ; 
fied with her fame, an«i exposed her ta the loss of 'i 
the world's esteem, and uiine, is a conduct which j 
every honest man must feel, demands a reparation. | 

Grcv. I am thinkiH«i; there's a very conve-- ' 

nieiit nook in the Park, westward of the great ; 

«:ate. ^ ; 

And. There then, sir, I shall expect you, in ; 

two hours from this time. i 

Grev. Not lattr if you please. j 

And. There is no \wei\, &\\\ to aggravate oun^ 

quarrel : I shall be punctual. Ejcit. 1 



JOHN buzzby; OB, 15 

Grcv. Now has this high-mettled husband of 
lieis, robb'd me of all tlie grace of my coodescen- 
sion to Maitlaad, whose proceedings I must stop 
or AFidersoQ will think he has overawed me ; 
f.De€riogly compliiTieut me on my gentlemanly 
conduct, and deprive me of the honor of exchang- 
ing shots with him : yes, yea, I'll stop Maitlaud's 
proceeding directly. Exit. 



SCENE II. 

.4 Room at the Rose and Crown, 

Enter Jingle, Jenny, and Simon. 

Jin, Hold your tongue, hold your tongue ! and 
iuiiul your business. Teach this bumpkin his 
duly. Clear out here, clod. 

Sim. Yes, sir. 

Jen. But fat her — 

Jin, Hold your tongue— 

Jen, The bill— 

Jin. For No. 4. I know^ump it. They've 
got their own gigs. Sherry seven shUlings, ham, 
bread, butter, siilton, radishes, suit, &c. leu An\- 
lings. Eor such a list of items a very moderate 
total. 

Jc7i. But father — 

Jin. Hold your tongue — 

Jen, They'll swear. 

Jin. Let 'em. Your father made it. 

Jen. They'll send lor you. 

Jin. Let 'em. Two bumpkins. Let it out in 
ialkiug— Y'oikshire lads — appeal to their consc|= 



ence— Hevcr see 'em again — can't keep house for 
nothiag'—C bell rings J comiDg — ruo — 

Jen. But if— 

Jin. Hold your tongue- 

Jen, Hokl your tongue ! hold your tongue!— 
What a hard hearted unuatural father. If En- 
sign Maypoie runs away with me, I'll talk all the 
honeyujoon witlmut stopping. Exit. 

Jin. That giiPs mothei- had such a devil of a 
tongue; I was always obliged to be on the alert to 
get in a word ; and so would she, if I didnH 
watch her as I would a bottle of spruce : the mo- 
ment the cork fizzes, pop, or you're smother'd in 
a jiffey. 

Sim He ! he ! he ! 

Jin. He ! he ! he ! 

Sim. He I he I he ! 

Jin. Hold your tongue. 

Natty Briggs. C without. J 
Come along, this way mother ! 

Jin. Hark ! company ! run you rum one. 

Exit Simon. 

Enter Mrs. Buzzby, Natty, and Cecilia. 
Mr. Brigss.' What! brought the o|d lady?— 
that's kind. 

^al. Yes, I told you I would, you know. This 
is my mama : Mrs. Briggs as was, Mrs Buzzby 
as is. 

Jin. V/elcome ma'am— welcome to Richmond, 
and the Rose and Crown — hope we shall make 
every thing agrejeable — come to dine with us, I 
hope. 

Nat. Yes, mother means to dine with you» 

Jin. Jenny ! bring the bill of fare I 



JOHN firZZBY; OR, 17 

Mrs. B. No occasion for that, Mr. Jingle. 
We'll dine at the ordinary. 

Enter Jenny. 
Jin. No ordinary of week-days, ma'am. 
Mrs. B. No ordinary, Natty ? 
Nat. Never mind, he'^il give us an ordinary 
dinner. 

Mrs. B. And will he charge us an ordinary 
price ? 

Nat. Nonsense — (points to Cecilia.) Do it 
handsomely. 
Mrs. B. You're a sly dog. 
JSat. (advancing consequentially.) Be quiet 
mother. You don't suppose I meant Miss Cecilia 
to dine at an ordinary, neither. No, no, ue can 
do the genteel thing, I suppose, as well as a milin- 
tary officer. 
Mrs. B. Ah ? you had always a proud spirit. 
Cee. {aside.) Vulgar wretch ! 
Jen. (observing her.) What should he know 
of a military officer (she retires offended.) 
Nat. I'll step and look ai the larder. 
Jin. You had better look at the bill of fare. 
Jett. As to the larder — 
Jin. Hold your tongue. The bill of fare, eh. 
Sir ! you must want refreshment — rowed here, I 
suppose— your own waterman as usual ? 

Nat. No thank ye I not to day. Came in the 
Steam, an<l amused the ladies. I played the file 
all the way from Putney bridge. 

Jin. Then you had the wind in your favour. 
Mrs. B. Entertaioiog creature I 
Jin. I know him. 

Nat. Mother thinks music on tlie water, so ro 
maQtic. 



18 A diy's tLEASUkfe* 

Mrs. B. Your music especially. 

Nat. Stuff, you're always so partiaL 

Mrs. B. Am I siugular ? 

Jin. Answer ihd.i Mr. Bii^^SofBrig^&fiiid^ €3 
him conceitedly.) I see. Will the ladies take 
Sfiy thin*!; before diuner? 

IS,' at. Ell, mother '—what do you say for a 
drop of shrub ? 

Mrs. B. Why, as I'm rather warm— 

Jin. Best tjjing you can take, ma'am — bring 
(he shrub, Jenny— ( Exit Jenny.) hand you the 
till of fare directly. [Exit. 

Nat. Well, Bliss CeciHa? how do you find your* 
bcif now I 

Cec, Charmingly !-— 

.^\^at An't it a sweet rural place? look ye, 
here's a picturesque view — look, mother — 

Mrs. B. Oh, it's the most !oveliest landscape- 

Ccc. fasiilc.) So far, I have dissembled brave- 
ly — beautiful ! 

IVat. (io Mrs. B, nodding towards Cecilia.) 
Vriiat d'ye say now : 

3Irs. B. What ! why that she's yours, that 
?he shall be yours. This little treat i» the wisest 
iii!n«:you ever did. 

Nat. To be sure— didnH I tell you so — a little 
joUifieation opens their hearts, and littivates their 
faculties ; they like Us men of spirit. I say — ^ 
father-in-law Buzzby little thinks what we're af- 
ter, while he's dunning his creditor at Deptford. 

Mrs. B. Who cares what he thinks, — he has 
his fi olicsJMl be bound for him. 

Nat. What papa Buzzby ! more than you 
know of, trust him for that, mother ; so e'en let's 
enjoy ourselves ; it's all for I know whq— come, 






JOHN BUZZBY ; OR, 19 

sha'nt us take a turn before dinner ; eh, Miss 
Cecilia ? 

Ccc. But, you hav'iit ordered dinner yet. 

Nat. True — mother, you and I will go and 
look at the larder 

Mrs. B. Corae then, my dear. 

uVat. I'll take care it shall be a good one, Miss. 
[Exeunt Natty are J Mrs. Buzzbt. 

Cec. (watching tk€?7i out. J J ennyh com'mg I if 
I could but get her to convey my letter ? 
Jenny enters. 

Jenny. Now she's alone, if I could but get a 

nute'schat with her — 

Cec. Jenny! 

Jenny. Here am I, miss. 

Ccc. I want to have a little talk with you. 

Jenmf. Oh, thank you, m^ss 

Ccc. Richmond is very gay at preseot, I fancy, 

Jenny. It's the time oif year, miss. 

Cec. Pray, hav'atyou a regiment of dragoons 
here ? 

Jenny, (sighing.) We have indeed, miss. The 
finest regiment ! one of the officers lodges io this 
very house, and so desperately in love with — 

Cec. Whom ? 

Jenny. Me, miss. 

Cec. And his name is — ■ 

Jenny Guess ! 

Ccc. Guess, child ! — 

Jenny. It begins with an M. 

Ccc. NotMaitland! 

Jenny. INTo, miss. 

Cec. jN'ay, how should I guess ? 

Jenny. Eosigii Maypole, miss— the sweetes^ 

B 



20 A day's pleasure. I 

youth — five feet eleven, and but just turned of* 

nineteen — if you were only to see him, "with his < 

beautiful flaxen locks dropping from under bisj 

tall black cap, over his lilly-white face ! — and*? 

then he listens, miss, listens so attentively, and 

sighs, and walks away to bed, traiiing his lon^ | 

sword so sentimentally I I do think, miss, he'd lay | 

down his life forme. '\ 

Cec. Would he ? why then, very likely, Jen- i 

ny, heVl dt liver this letter for you, to a brother f 

ollic<^r ? i 

Jenny. His brother officer ?—' I 

Cec. YeF, to Captain Maitland ! j 

Jenny- I see how it is, miss ; they want rou i 

to have lliat foolish Natty Briggs, and you are '■;> 

for the Captain. ^ 

Cec. Hush ! il 

Jenny. I applaud ynn, miss, and he shall have j 

the letter, (puis it into her bosom.) 

Jingle enters., followed bi/ Sii'.ion, Nattt 

Briggs, eind Mr?. B?^zzby. Jingle has \ 

an open letter in his hand. 
Jin. (to Jcnmj.) Oh, yon jade ! Oh. you hus- '■ 
&ey ! Oh ! you loquacious libertine ! j 

Jenny. Law, fiilher .' j 

Jin. You gossip ! yo»i mischievous gossip ! yout | 
arch enemy of peace and propriety ! 
Jenny. I ! 

Jin. Hold your tonpip ! Ilav'n't you taught 
the dumb to ihlk — Haven't you seduced silence 
jiself— undermined innocence — corrupted a deli- 
rute young draf?[oon f j 

Nat. Oh, Mfss Jeniy ! | 

Mrs. B. Fie upon you ! ( 

■^in. Hu!3ey, ifyou f.^rt r&ten — i 



JOHN BUZZ3Y ,' OR, 21 

^ciini/. I must listen. 

Jin. f reads. J " Dearest Jenny/' 

Mrs. B Monstrous! — 

Jin. Hold your — beg pardon, ma'am — " It is 
my intention this evening to sleep" — 

3Irs. B. A wicked assiguatiou I 

Jin. " Toslcfp ai my 8unt*5 at Islewortlt'' — 

JS^at. Ob, if it's only at his aunt's I — 

Jin. Genllefolks! — ' ^therefore, let nobody sit 
up for me, and believe that wherever I lay my 
head, fancy shall still recal your image in my 
(h earns, and your sweet voice as the lullaby to 
my slumbers," — 

Jenny. Bless him ! only hear— 

Jin. " Your tender adiuiier, Maximilian 
Maypole." — 

N'al. Crimini I what a swell ! — 

Jin. What d'ye say to th?tt f 

Jenny. Say I that whoever gave it you^ was 
a blockhead I 

Sim. It were I, miss, 

Jen. I thought so. 

Swi. II were give to me to deliver iuto your 
own iiaiids : I told master so, and you see, he's 
gone and opened it. 

Jin. Mow dare you talk to the soldiers ? 
How dare ycu talk to any body; Never any 
wood in gossiping, AVhat's this ? {sees ti\/e letter 
in Jemnfs bosoms and slips it out.) 

Jen. Geauiii me I he's got it ! 

Jin. •' To Captain" — Ah you— 

Cec. (snalvhing it from hiu\) For shame, sir, 
reading a private correspondence I rather than 
I'll bl;ind by aud see such a thing, there's for you. 

{teoLTs the Utter, 



22 A. day's pleasure. 

H'lrs. B. Amazement ! 

Nat, Miss Cecilia !— 

Jin. A mighty modest well-bred youDg lady, 

JMat (to Mrs. B) I smell a rat' I 

Mrs, B. What does he mean ? — 
(Natt? takes up the fragments and tries to read. 

Jen. ^giving him a sound box 07i the ear. J 
How dare you read my letter ? 

JVat. Mother !— 

Mrs. B. Why, you audacious— 

Jin. Are you mad. wench ! get out of mj^ 
s\oh\, get out of my sight I I'll teach you man- 
ners, I warrant me. Hold your longue ! 

Exeunt Jenny and Jingls. 

Mrs. B. Has she hurt you. Natty ? 

JVat 1 believe she has : only let her come in 
my way, that's all. As to that letter, mother, 
Iv*f- got my private opinion about that. Is she 
gone ? 

Mrs B Quite, child. 

Nat. You pick up a bit, mother. 

Mrs. B. Here^s a bit, my dear Natty. 

Nat. Look ye here — Here's M. A — 

Cec. (sidling towards him ) For shame ! — 

Nat. Wht. yon want to snatch too, do you? 

Mrs. B Let him alone. 

Nat. Here's 3L A-^ 

Cec. It's to F.nbign Maypole, of course. 

Nat. Aye, but liere's /. T. next— M, A. I. J- 
•won't spell Maypole. 

Mrs. B. So, so. Miss Cecilia, this is your writ- 
ing. 

Cec. My writing, indeed. 

Jingle Enters. 

Jin. Come to beg pardon for Jenny, gentle- 



JOHN BUZZBY ; Oil, 23 

tolks, anj shew you to a snug room looking; over 
the river. This way if you please. 

Mrs. B. Come, miss ; do walk till this letter is 
cleared up. 

Ccc. What have I to do with it ? 

Nat. Go alon«; with you. Haven't I refused 
Bell Spinks and Polly Puckeridge for you ? and 
now you want to break my heart, aad throw me 
over the bridge. Exeunt 

END OF ACT I. 



>€^(i 



ACT IL 

bCENEI — A Room in the Roue and Crown. 
A window visible. 

Enter Natty Briggs. 
Nat. Here ! mother ! — Mrs. Buzzby I 

Enter Mrs. Buzzby. 
Mrs. B. What's the matter, my dear I — . 
J^at. Here's father-in-law. 
Mrs. B. Impossible ! 

Nat. Look, see, there, with that lady in the 
veil. It's papa Buzzby I'm certain. 

Mrs. B. Mercy defend me ! it is Mr. Buzzby 
Indeed — and a wench too — oh, the abominable 
sinner ! — the vile hypocrite. 

Nat. This is his Canterbury tale of going to 
Deplford; and hunting a creditor. 
B 2 



24 A DAl's PLEASURE. 

Mrs. B. Hunting Beelzebub ! I'll hunt him, 
— I'll wench him. My hat and sha\rK 

Nat. 1 told you what a liquorish chap he was, 

ExiL 

Mrs. B. Oh ! the inordinate elder ! Instead 
of securing money at Deptford, to be squander- 
ing it on a hussey at Richmond ; our coming's a 
judgment upon him. 

Re-enter Natty ivith hat and shawl. 

Nat. Here it is, mother. See, he's just turn- 
ing the corner. 

Mrs. B. Run first, child — dog hira to his 
haunts, and I'll overtake you. 

Nat. But Miss Cecilia — 

3Irs. B. True — what will become of her — I 
have it — I'll turn the key upon her—she'll think 
it's an accident, and remain quiet till we come 
back. 

Nat. Capital, mother I 

Mrs. B. Away, child ! 

m Vm off. Exit. 

Mrs. B. (at a door in the flat. J We're com- 
ing back, ray dear, directly, (turns the key and 
takes it cut.) The meritricious monster — who 
•would have thought it— oh, John Buzzby, John 
Buzzby ! 

Exit, 
Greville enters. 

Grev, (looking at his card.) Jolin Buzzby I 
why that must be Mrs. Anderson's old beau, and 
that Old woman's in a fury— jealous, I'll lay n)y 
]ife — gad ! when Anderson has done with nio, 
who knows but he may call out Buzzby. Here : 
landlord .'—Jingle ! Waiter ! where the devil 
arc they all ? 



JOHN BUZZEY ; or,, 25 

Jin CLE enters > 

Jin. Here's Jiiigie I here's the kodlord at 
jour service. 

Grcv, Landlord, you're as idle as a waiter. 

Jm. Captain, ycu are — 

Crcv. Have a care — 

Jin, (aside) Noisy as a trDinpeter — 

Grev. Sir — 

Jin. Majestic ns a major, and iosiouating as 
3 lecriiiting Serjeant. 

Grev. Do yon want a taste of my discipline ? 

Jin. JS"o, I'd rather iiave a toucli of your 
boimty. 

Grcv. You abuse my temper, sir, but I forgive 
you for your daughter's sake; how is slje ? 

Jin. She I pert as Perry, aad gets into a young 
fellows hands like— - 

Grcv. Sherry. 

Jin. A bottle of Sherry for Captain Greville. 

Grev. Hey, blockhead ! I drink your Sherry ? 

Jin. What did you call ibr ? 

Grcv. Pen, ink and paper w ill answer my pur- 
pose. 

Jin, (Aaidc) Sorry to say it won't answer 
mine. 

Grcv. Fetch it. 

Jin. To oblige Capt. Greville, as a friend, 
certainly. Exit. 

Grev. Devilish unlucky I sliould have lent my 
pistols. T must send for them, and follow up 
Maitland, or my reputation incurs a double risk. 
How the fellow loiters, Jinghe — Jerry — 
Jingle crdcr^i with pen, ink and paper. 

Jin. Coming, i'lv. 

.Tenky enters. 

Jen. Coming, sir. s 3 



26 A day's pleasure - 



Jin. Hold Tour tongue. 

G'reiK Ah, my pretty Jenny, liow do you (lo, 
my lovo. (siilhis; (loivnto wrile) 

Jen Ptelty we!!, thank you, .sir; how do you. 
f expecting io he checked. J 

Grev. (writing. ) Jingle, leave Jenny to talk 
with inc, and get out. 

Jin. (to Jcnnij.) Leave me to talk to the Cap- 
taiit, and get out. 

Jen. iNo; it was to nic. 

'^in, Iloid your tongue. Beg pardon, but she 
talks quite enough vilh her ensiga hobolly, 
(aside, in allusion to the Idler.) Auotlier amor- 
ous episll<% plague tnke 'em. 

Grev. Do you hear ? this letter must go Avith 
all possible (lispatch. Seud me a light, sealing 
^vax, aiKi your porter. 

Jin. Light, sealing wax, and a bottle of porter 
for Captain Greville. 

Jen. No, DO, a porter, Simon. 

Jin. Hold your tongue. 

Grev. Vi'ould you i)()i8on me, sir ? 

Jen. Tiie captain's not like anotiier customer. 

Jin. He is uol indeed, warse hick, Simon. 

(A knocking al the door indde. 

Ccc. (within) Open the door ! open the door \ 

Crrv. Open the door ! 

Ccc. I'm lock in. 

Grev. Loek'd in ! znundsSir ! do you lock up 
wonjcu in your houfc ? where's the key of the 
door ? 

Jin. Why it? gone ! 

Jen. 1 did'nt take it. 

Jin. it's mother Buzzby, she has loct'd her ia' 



JOHN BL'ZZBY ; OR 27 

Gnv. Whoever has lockM her in, I'll let her 
out. (kicks at the door) 

Jin. Captain Greville, I'll seud for t!ie smith; 

Gtcv. Damn the feiuith. (forces the door open, 
and leads out Cecilia) Fair lady, welcooie to li- 
berty ; beholt! jour rielivercr, your vigilaut 
aod loyal kuight, who has snatcli'd you IVom 
persecutioc, aud thus IhrovviDg hiujbelf at your 
leet— 

Cec. Pray, rise, Sir. 

Grev. Let us then liaste from this detected 
spot. 

Jin. Detested spot ? 

Grcv. " And free as forest birds ^se''\\ ^y to- 
fjeiher, 
*' Without rememb'riug who our fatheis 
were." ^ 

Cec. Am I in a madhouse ? 

Jin. W^hile Mr. Gieville's iu it you certainly 
are. Consiiier n.y house, sir — consider delica- 
cy — consider Mrs. l>rio;»s. 

Grev. \Vho the devil's Mrs. Bviggs I 

Jin. WIjo ! my friend, sir, my friend and cus- 
tomer — a thorough customer, a friend in the no- 
blest sense of the word. 

Grcv. Will you get out ? 

Jin. I shall loose my licence. 

Grev. You shall lose your ears, sir. 

Jin. Mrs. Briggs will be about your's, rely 
OQ it. £xii. 

(In the interval Cecilia has made signs to 
Jenny, and escaped. 
Grev. Impertinent, prathig, meddling jacka- 
napes [looking round) Gone ! escaped ! and shall 



28 A DAY S PLEASURE. 

I submit to such rude, ungrateful — on, by lica- 
ven's, I'll — (perceives her) oh ! oil ! are you 
there ? — [caUmg) ma'am ! your glove, ma'am — 
Jenny ! — Exit 

Jingle Re-enters, 
Jin, He's oir, and my ears are on : what does 
lie mean ! it" he drew his purse as cavalierly as 
his K^^ord, one might put up with it : but all row 
and DO profit, won't suit me at all. 

Simon enters. 

Sim, Here be the light and sealing wax — 
Avhere's the captain ? 

Jin. Where .'—running after the women, 1 sup- 
pose. 

Sim. It ben't for your credit to have them 
chops. 

Jin, No, nor for my ready money either, if 
they're all of the captain's kidney. They call 
him a rake — he's no spendthrift, I'll answer for 
him. Its a puny race — the world deijenerates— ~ 
folly itself — formerly the characters met hand in 
liand, in a most gouilemanly and becoming man- 
ner. And this is your modern rantipole. I 
hav'n't patience with him; a watergruel whirli- 
<jig ; a pen, ink, and paper profligate scatterbraiu 
it may be, but devilish close-fisted — no scores 
with him, as Sir John Falstaft' says, but on the 
pate. What are you at, sir ? — 

Sim. I were no but spelling a bit. What be 
we to do with the letter ? 

Jin, Why, as its left open, and he may possi- 
bly be another correspondent of Miss Jenuj's, I 
don't see but a peep may be very excusable. 

{reads) 



:l 



JOHN buzzy; or, 20 

Sim. Varry proper : I weer tliiakin*: so. IJes-e 
(gives it) I'll watch };e doirt coiDe. Pral'.y Miss 
Jenny, what work she do make here, {his luari^ 

Jin, Odds dickens ! here's a bu^rine&s ! 

Sim. What be it, sir? 

Jin. Murder and mlscliicf, battle and blood- 
fched— adael, sending lor his pisIoJs/ 

Si7n. Merciful ! 

Jin. Kerens a pretty fellow, *;oing to fight iu 
au hour, and cutting in his capers- 

Sim. Think of that ; skylarkng, as if nothing 
•Tvere the matter. 

Jin We must bestir us. 

Sim. Why so .^— if it be fun to liim, it ben't our 
business. 

Jin. Inhuman savage ! it is our business, it 
siiust be our business, and shall be our business. 
Come with me. Do you go down to Major Au- 
brey's, tell him there's the devil to pay, and bring 
!iim here ; do you mind, be sure you bring him 
liere. I'll away to the magistrates, blow the 
whole business, muster the constables, muzzle the 
peace breakers and tlicir pistols, and bring the 
%yhole party to the Rose and Crown to a grand 
dinner of recoacilialiou. Hold your tongue. 

(Eicimt. 



SCENE U.~The Street. 

Enter Cecilia, in an&ihcr Hal and Shaivl. 

Cec. Thanks to tjjat rnsdn,an, I have escaped. 
Jenny's hat and sliawl will conceal me har.» m}' 
^nemiee^if I chance to mcet'em ; aud if I could 



30 A DAY S rLEAFURE. 

only uiite a fresli billet to MaUiand, or send a 
niet^tiagc— lieavejis ! nij ^^vnd'mn I ami sure 'tis 
niy (>ltl sciiooM'ellovVj Julia Courtney- -how ex. 
tiaordinary ! by uinu. cliaiicc are they Ui«:ethev ; 
concealed as I anj, if 1 could address herunkuown 
to. him, fche might assist me; — 1,11 watch my op- 
portuuily. 

Enur BuzzBY, «;i^/ Miib. Anderson. 

Buz. Here we are, madam , ihh is the street,, 
and yonder, I take it is the *;rcen door ; yes, that 
must be tiie ma Jor':^. 

Jul. Heaven be praised ! how will lie receive 
my confideace ? 

Buz; I cau't pretend to say, madam, for allow 
nie to observe, that in spiie of your engagements, 
i had'nt yet received it inyself. You have rieal- 
ly made such a zi^-zag sort of course to avoid 
these officers, and i)eeu altogether in such a flur- 
ly, that you'll excuse me, madam, but my curi- 
osity is now more violent tlmu ever, and if I am 
to appear at the major'sj this, I imagine, is the 
moment to satisfy it. 

Jul. As I shall state my case to the major in 
your presence, you will tlien hear ail the particu- 
lars, in the mean time, let me inform you — 

Bu::. Yes. ma'am, inform me something if you 
please. 

Jul. That I had the misfortune — 

Cecilia, advances and pulls Julia It; her 
dress. In speaking she turns her 
liead and is cautious to conceal her- 
self from the notice o/Elzzby. 

Oc. Ma'am ! \ 

Jul. Eh ! — (turns. )_ 



JOHN BVZZhX't OR, 31 

Bus. Another inlenuption ? and another wo- 
7nau ,• mysteiy and mischief lliicken. 

The ladies approach each other ^ Julia re- 
cognises Cecilia. 

Jul. Cecil — 

Ccc. Hash ! I wish to speak with you in pri- 
vate. 

Jul. Excuse us, Mr. Buzzby. 

Bus, (surprised^ and scrutinising Cecilia, ) — 
Ma'am ! — 

JuU Retire one moment. 

Buz. They Ve studied Mrs. Buzzby, I shall 
ivish you a good morning, 

Jul. Go, sir ! 
. Bus. (aside.) If I was'nt so cursed curious I 

TTOUid. 

Jul. I entreat you won't, sir. 

Buz. Then, ma'am just to keep up my conse- 
quence. 1*11 move about, if you please. 

Jul. Do sir. 

Bus. They're a couple of wicked ones. 
When women whisper, the devil prompts. 

{he retires.) 

Cec. Dear Julia — T am so happy to see you. 
How came you. with my guardian? 

Jul. Your ganrdiaji ? 

Cec. Yes ; in this dress he doesn't know me. 
I'm all of a tremble. 

Jul. You surprise me. We came in the 
coach together, and he is merely doing me the 
friendly office of conducting me where I am go- 
ing. 

Cec. And where is that, my dear ? 

Jul. To a Major Aubrey. 

Cec. Of the regiment quartered here ? 



32 A day's pleasure, 

Jul. The game ! 

Cec. Then you may do me the greatest service 

Jul. Name it. 

Cec. In the same regiment is a Capt. Maitland ! 

Jul. Cecilia. 

Cec. Now don*t be alarmed — I assure you, 
he's a young man of the most hoaerabie inten- 
tions. 

Jul. Proceed. 

Buz, Really, Ladies, this affair — 

Jul. One moment, sir. 

Cee. Pray Mr. Buzzby. (Buzzbv rcHres 
again.) We met while I was on a visit in Not- 
tinghamshire, and he has since written proposals 
to my guardian. Mrs. Buzzby opens his letters, 
and I am convinced has kepi it a secret from 
him as well as me ; but fortune has betrayeil 
them. I found the letter by accident, with a 
scaawled copy of their answer , it is full of false 
hoods, my dear ; states that I have no fortune, 
and that I am positively engaged to a booby son 
of Mrs. Buzzby. Now; as I am closely watchM 
if you could contrive, through M.jor Aubrey's 
me* s, to undeceive him — 

Jul. Most readily; when I have settled my 
own rtffair, which is both serious aud urgent; 
still, how came you here ? 

Cec. Tiiey have brought me here; by my 
own confrivance ; but I can't stay to tell you. 

Jul Your guardian, 1 am sure, is ho. -est. 

Cec. And I am convinced knows nothing of 
the matter ; bW I daren't trust him, and he's 
prying -«o '•lonely; — see how curious he looks, 
ha 1 ha ! ha ! ' 

Bug. ZoufldB I am I laugb'd at ?— 



JOHN BUZZBif; OK; 33 

Jul Fov heaven's sake — 

Cec. {aside) if he knew who was here. Adieu 
oiy dear ! I my depead on you. 

Jul. Faithffllly : yoar lover, if possible, shall 
meet your guardiao here. 

Ccc. A thousand thauks— Adieu, adieu, Mr; 
Buzzby. l^ExiL 

Buz, Your servant, ma, am. 

Jul. You seem an;^ry, sir? 

J^uz. This is Lot the thing, ma'am. 

Jul. I fear you mistook us ; mirth in me nt 
tijis moment, would dishonour my feelinfis, espe- 
cially towards one to whose kindness 1 owe no- 
thing but respect and gratitude. 

Buz. How gentle and unconnimon, s'lch words, 
and in such a voice, subdue me quite, restore all 
my gallantry, and set my lieait a palpitating. 1 am 
yours still, madam, so far from (iesertin*; you, i 
swe^r you may lead me into ail manner of mis* 
chief. 

Jul. Nay now, you are merry; yet, I am 
anxious to retain you at present for your own 
sake, as well as mine. 

Buz. For my own sake, as well as-— what a 
mysterious rogue it is. 

Jul. We'll proceed if you j}lcase,sir. 

Buz. Certainly, madam, but first you know as 
my curiosity is by no means more satisfied than 
it was— the little partial—only (he little partial 
disclosure. — Before tiiis rencoutrc you were say- 
ing you recollect— 

Jul. True : I was about merely to say {look' 
ingout) Isn't this his friend ? 

Buz. (fretfully) Oh dear I oh dear I whose 
friend, ma,am ? 



34 A day's pleasure^ 

Jul Mr, Greville's — the officer I wisli'd to 
avoid. 

Buz. His name's Greville— come th;;it'.s some 
thiriiif. 

Jul. Pray tarn, or we shall meet !)ini. 

7^2/2;. Why turn ? I'ij keep him o'J, jjKi'am,— 
Who's afraid ?* Are people's private uffuirs to be 
troubled in this v,ay ? Are we to be flush'd and 
hunted down like a brace of partridges V 
Maitland enters. 

Mail. I am most happy, madam, in meeting', 
you before you reach the place of yourdestinaiioii 
allow me most liumbly and earnestly to entreat of 
you a moment's couversation ? 

Buz. He's very respectful : do we answer 
him, ma'am ? 

3Iait. If I have the honor of addressing the 
iady, I imagine — 

Jul. It is needless, sir, to enquire who I am': 
my time at this moment is precious : nor am I 
accustomed to be addressed by strani^ers. 

Buz* You hear, sir ! we don't answer strangers; 
the lady's affairs are her own : fhe doesn't require 
your Hssistance ; ^nd you mi«j]ita't be much the 
wiser If she did. Your servant, sir. 

[^E.iii, BizLQY and Julia. 

Mail. 'Tis she ! she knows me for the f-nend 
of Greville, and her very leuaciousness betrays 
her. 

Enter Mus. Buzzbv ajid Natty^ behind. 

Kat Into iiiis street I'll swear he came. 

Mf6. B, Ti.en he imni have culcicd one of the 
liouses. 

JIaii. If I were to write to her — 



JOHN BVZZBY f OP, 35 

Mrs. B. He iias a lodging for the hussey, I 
have no doubt. 

JVat. I don't see him, that's certain, 

Mail. I'll follow her to the major's, and send 
iip ray card with a liue of expianatioo. [?irii€s in 
his pGcket-book,] 

Mrs. B. Suppose we enquire of this gentleman. 

IStat. That — why its one of the dragoons — i 
dou't like — if he should take it a miss. 

Mrs. B. Why should he ehihl ? 

Nat. Well; if you think he won't {advaneiiig 
to him.) I be«: pardon, sir — 

Mait. (rvritinsc in his pocket-honk.) SomV- 
thin^ to tliat effect, — with Captaiu MaitJand'a 
compliment?, requesting — 

JVat. Captain Maitland — 

MaH. (turning to them) Sir ' — 

Nat. la your name Captain Maitland I 

Mait. It is, sir. 

Nat. What that has been in Nottinghamshire 
lately ? 

MaH. The same, Fir. 

Nat. It's Captain Maitland, mother. 

Mrs. B. Captain Maitland ! 

Mail. What the devil is all this ? what d'ye 
mean sir ? what's your pleasure with me ? 

Nat. Nothing, sir. 

Mait. Nothing ! 'sdeath,sir ! do you presume 
laugh at me ? 

Nat. Not for the world, sir. 

Mait. Why you little paltry — 

Mrs. B. {screayning and interposing) Oh, don't 
haw your sword upon my child ! 

Mait. Draw my sword on such an jn:bccile. 
onteraptible — get about yoiiv business ! 



06 A bat's pleasurf, I 

Nat. Vm <-one, sir. — I'm ^one. Exil. ? 

Mrs. B. How lucky \>e secured Cecilia i tljis] 
is all omn^ to his proflis;ate falher-io-law; only | 
let me fiud him, that-s all. Exit. ; 

Mail. What could the puppy' mean ? talking' 

and writing in the street, exposes nie ; I must dis- j 

patchc {continues rvriting.) ■ 

Re-enter Buzzby. . 

Buz. There she is, safely lodged at the major's,,! 
and my information is just where it was. j 

Malt. That I think will do. j 

Btiz. He's out, I'm dispatched in search of 
him, and the discoverj is put oft' again — every j 
title of it. \ 

3Iait. Ha ! — her protector alone — now I may , 
sjet at the truth. One word sir. The lady I { 
saw you with, I presume, must have very pnrti- 1 
cular motives, for not allowing herself to be ] 
tnown.- ] 

Buz. I apprehend she has, sir. i 

Mail- You, I suppose, tir, can have no cause | 
f.o be so scrupulous, and will probably make no ■ 
diiTiculty in informing; me — • I 

Buz. Sir, I have the stroDg.?st, the most insur- 1 
mountable reasons, l()r refiising you all informa-^ 
tion whatever. How tlie devil can I tell him j 
what I don't know myself, (aside.) '\ 

Maif, There are cast::s, where a word or two | 
of explanation, may be higlily desirable. | 

Buz. I feel most forcibly the truth of your re- 
mark. 

Mail. Allow me only one or two questions. 

Buz. They'll distress me, they will, indeed, 
the whole of the business, as far as relates to me, 
mu^i remain an inviolable srerct- 



A DAY^S PLEAStJRE. 37 

Mail. Very well, sir, very well ; if I am to 
consifler you as determiued, I wish you a good 
morning. 

Bus. Good morning, sir. 

Mait. Should the afiair take the turn I fear, 
you may repent your obstinacy. Exit. 

Bug. I may repent my obstinacy ! this is some 
devilish business, and here am 1 in the thick of 
it, as innocent as can be ; like a harmless cipher, 
coupled with an unlucky unit, multiplying the 
mischief, and itself signifying nothing. Bullied 
here, laughed at there— and for what? Ah! 
there's the seduction, a woman — and one of that 
sweet sort, that even Mrs. Buzzby can't cure me 
of loving. I'm a knight-errant bewildered — Doa 
Quixote in a fog, but Don Quixote still, and rea- 
dy to fight it out. 

Enter Anderson. 

And. Unlucky ! that my only friend here, 
should be absent. A duel on my hands, and no 
second. 

Buz. (apart.) Why should I fear any man ? 

And. If I could liglK on some good-natured 
stranger— 

Buz. (avart.) Let 'em come on, let 'em come 
on. (Anderson observes him. J Wasn't I a vo- 
lunteer sharp-shooter, and when the martial fire 
was raging, hadn't I a month's lessons of Aogelo ? 
(fencing.) Cartel tierce! second! — 

And. So, so, here's the very man for me.— « 
Your servant, sir. 

Buz. Sir, your servant. 

And. Excuse my addressing you, sir; but \ 
ftave a pressing busiaess on my b^ods, in whiclj 
c 



3dr JOHN buzzby; or, 

there is every appearance, you may be of esseiv 
tial service to me. 

Bus. I'm mucli obliged to you for the compli- 
meat ; appearances, I have do doubt, are prodi- 
giously in my favour : unluckily, I'm full of other 
people's business already, and I'm afraid it goes- 
none the better for my meddling. 

A)i(l. Mine's a trifle , sir, a fellow has insult- 
ed me, in half an hour I'm to fight him, and un- 
fortunately am without a second ; now, as I ob- 
tjcrve you have some practice — 

Buz. Not as second, sir, I practice as a princi- 
pal only. 

.4nd. Still, sir, as you've a taste for the pas- 
time. 

Bus. There you're deceived again, sir : I have 
no aiTectation of that sort ; no wish whatever to 
attack my neighbours, though in this town, I'm 
likely to have quite euough to do to defend my- 
self. 

Aiid If that's the case, sir, only oblige me in 
niy affair, and any assistance J Cc^n render you — 

B21S. You can assist me, sir, be assured. The 
fact is, a young lady, a beautiful creature in dis- 
tress, has placed herself under my protection, 
and so marked is her prepossession in my favour,, 
that she will allow no man to share the honour she 
lias done me, except a certain ofHcer of dragoons^ 
of whom 1 am now in search; consequently — 

A?id. (startled. ) Why, surely — a lady placed 
herself under your protection, and sent you for au 
officer of dragoons ? 

Bus. (aside.) There ! now he'll want an es^ 
planation. 

And^ (aside.) Psha !— how can I suspect — 
yet after the whispers I have heard. She left 



A day's pleasure. o^ 

Imme early on a capricious pretext, and not 

knowing my intention harkye, sir, what you 

have just said, strongly excites my attention; — 
have the goodness to explain yoursdf. 

Bus-, (aside ) I knew he would. 

Ati(L Who is the lady ? 

Bu:^. Sir, that's a very delicate question ; you 
have your affair of honour, and I have mine. 

And. To which this lady may possibly be a 
party ? 

Bus. Possibly she may, sir; I can only say, 
she raises much more curiosity than I can under- 
take to satisfy. 

And. Mine, sir, begins to be urgent. 

Bus. [aside.'] Not more than mine, heaven 
knows. In one word, sir, I couldn't consistently 
oblige you any further ; but as you seem so very 
auxious in the business, I'll just hint to you, that 
if you can only meet with a certain Captain 
Greville — 

And. Greville — 

Buz, Greville. 

And. I'm satisfied, {resolute anger.) 

Bus. That's lucky, (aside) They're all up 
to it but me : perhaps he'll drop something. I'm 
glad you're satisfied. 

And. So am I, sir. 

Bus. But you could'ut pump me, you sec. 

And. No, no. 

Bus. (aside.) I wish I could pump you. 
As far as I can judge, sir, the lady seems a very 
pleasant sort of a — {pausing.) 

And. Very pleasant sort of a persoL', indeed. 

Bus. And no doubt is — a — 

And. No doubt in the world sir. 

Buz. What, gir ? 



40 JOHN BUzzB^r ; ob, | 

Andf What ! you know what sir, as well as I 
do. ■ 

Buz, No, upon rny soul, I do oot. I 

And. The setting gun shall leave one of us — 
Buz. More in the dark than ever. — Couldn't 

you— i 

And. Woman's the devil ! ■ 

Bus» {aside.) I shall learn nothiug new of j 

him. I 

And. Deceitful, smooth-tongued — and you, | 

sir — I 

Buz. Well sir ? | 

And. At your sober years to become a scan- { 

dalous go-between, au agent of shame and infa* j 

.my. I 

Buz. Me sir ? I 

And. You— have you not confessed that you \ 

are employed to bring them together — that you ;; 

are now sent in search of her profligate gallant ? ] 
Buz. There's no gallant in the case. You ^ 

don't know what you're talking about, sir — ; 

you're bothered, sir, and when a man's ideas ! 

are in a state of confusion, he'd better hold his i 

tongue. I 

And. There's no confusion, in the case, sir. I 
Buz. S'blood sir ? but there is confusion^ \ 

nothing but confusioo, and I can endure it no^ \ 

longer. \ 

And. You may well repent your conduct. | 

Where is the worthless woman ? \ 

Buz. There's no worthless woman, sir. I ] 

tell you, you are all wrong ; I speak of a lady i 

of honor, and the person you mean, can't be the I 

person I mean. '] 

Enter Maitland. i 

Mait. Only answer me this. 3 

i 



A day's PLFASURE. 41 

Buz. There's the other chap again. 

Mail. Is her uame Auderson? 

Jnd. Anderson ! now, sir, equivocate — 

3Init. I know not how this gentleman is 
concerned, but I am right it seems. 

Buz. Right ! — yes, I dare say you'll all be 
right, and I shall die in my obscurity. 

Mail. Sir, your conduct is unintelligible, and 
the wonder is, that you have obstinately con- 
cealed — 

Bus. I tell you the wonder would have been 
if I had disclosed a syllable. 

Mail. I must see the lady — 

And. And pray sir, who are you ? 

Buz. There, now, they are emoroiled. 
Enter Greville. 

Grev. Maitland ! 

Bus. Now for an explosion ! 

Grev. I have been hunting you this hour- 
Anderson ! — a second time — 

And. Prepare for the third, sir. 

Mail. Mr. Anderson ! 

Grev. Not known to each other. Then all^s 
right, and you have spoilt no sport it seems. 

Mait. Nay, but — 

Grev. [aside to MaillamL] Not a "word, on 
your life. Mr. Auderson, you hear, is pre.'sit.g 
for justice, in his own way, and will find me in 
such cases, as I hope youMl vouch for me, Semper 
paratus. The law makes my will, sir, and here 
stands my confessor, [pointing to Maitland. \ 

Jnd. *Tis well, sir, >our complaisant, your 

accommodating old pander there, who has been 

employed to manage your meeting with an uu- 

worthy woman, has discovered ail, acquainted 

c 2 



42 JOHN BUZZBY ; OR, 

me with the full extent of my wrongs, and made 
me a foe inexorable ; ray dishonour can only be 
effaced in blood. Exit. 

Buz, Here's a precious business ! 

Grev. My complaisant old pander ! 

Buz. That was his obliging expression. 

Grev. And are you realiy so ? 

Bus. I can't pretend to say — I give it up — k\ 
this moment I doii't know who I am, nor what I 
am — My wits are in a very critical condition ; 
aud upou my soul, if you couiinue to bewilder 
me — 

Qrev. ^ewilder you — faith, 'tis you that puz- 
zle us, aL em the very genius of perplexity : — 
hark ye, m^ ^'^''t friend; are you possessed, or 
what is the i - ; of your conduct ? 

Buz. Sir, I am possessed ; you're all possessed 
—you, sir, and your friend, and your enemy, and 
every man I meet in this infernal town : there- 
fore, sir, with your leave, I shall get out of it as 
fast as possible. 

Mait. Hold, sir. This will not serve you. A 
character like you — 

Grev. A troubler of the peace of families ! 

Mait. A common libeller ! 

Grev. A wanton incendiary ? 

Buz. You're mad — I tell you, you're mad— • 
You're mad — You're both mad, and I shall be 
mad — mad as a bedlamite — ask in St. Martin's 
Parish — I ! — I ! — John Buzzby, to be called — 

Mait. John Buzzby of St. Martin's — you the 
guardian of Cecilia Clermont ? 

Buz. Yes, I am, sir : now she's in the scrape, 
I suppose. 

Mait. As you have lieard my name, Mr. 
Buzzbv, you well know —■' -" ■ -n the 'nani- 



43 



ry— It should have occurred to you, that we are 
already hi some sort acquainted. 

Bus. The devil we are ! then the sooner wc 
cut, the better. 

3Iait. You recollect the letters you have writ- 
ten to Capiain Maitland ? 

Bus. Letters to Captain Maitland I Stop, I 
stop I don't carry the joke too far, 

Grev. One busintss at a time, gentlemen, if 
you please ; mine is imperious. Mr, Buzzby, 
we sha'n't forget. 

Bus I can return the compliment. 

Grev, (to Maitland.) The pacqu*-* ^ the pre- 
cious, fatal pacquet ? 

MaiL I have it here, f fo»"'' his pocket.) 

Grev. Then there it must at present. — • 

After what has past, we have no time for loiter- 
ing; Anderson must be satisfied in his own way 
first and immediately — in yours afterwards, ss it 
happens — for the lady's character, it seems, (that 
is, whether Anderson wrongs her, or she still 
obligingly inclines to her first admirer,) must now 
depend upon this gentleman's calmer information. 
There *s another rod in pickle tbr you, my friend. 
We shall fmd you— T know where Mrs. Buzzby 
is, auQ there, I suppose, you must follow her. 
[Exeunt Greville anf/ Maitland. 

Bus. As long as she don't follow me, there's 
still some hope for my faculties. It's all a hoax. 
(Here jN^atty Biiiggs eniersy chuckles and 
makes si.gns as if to his mother.) 
But it won't do — if I can't prevent mischief, I'll 
make no more. Let 'em squabble together, la- 
dies and gentlemen, I'll give 'em all the slip, run 
over to the Bed Lion at Brentford, and have my 
c 3 



44 JOHN BUZZBY ; OK, 

flay of pleasure out, in spile of them. [N'atti/ 
Briggs faces him.] Fire aod fatality. Tliis in- 
lernal cub ! 

JSTat. Ha ! ha I lia ! 

Bus. What do you meao, sir ? how came you 
here ? do } ou dog me ? do you play the spy 
upon me ? — 

NaL Not I, fafher-in-law — he ! he ! he ! — you 
know I like a trip to Richmond with tiie cutter 
Jads, but I did uot know it was a favourite spot of 
yours, papa ! 

Bus. [aaidc] T\\ cut hira, however; — keep 
your distance, sir ; I want rione of your company . 

Nat. Don't be angry, father. 

Bus. [aside.] We're alone ; I long to kick 
him, and here's an opportunity. 

A'at. How's your pretty customer, father ? 

Buz. [aside.] The puppy has pursued me. — 
Take care you don't meet with an ugly one ; none 
of your impertinence here, sir. 

Nat. [amiing up to him.] Why, what will 
you do, papa ? 

Bus. Do!— that's what I'll do— that's what 
I'll do. 

[Cuffs him round the Stage — Mrs. Buzzbt 
rushes in and interposes.] 
Buz, Mrs Buzzby ! — the devil ! 

[He ru7is off. Mrs. Buzzby, and Natty 
follotving.] 

END OF ACT II. 



A DAt's PLEASURE^ 45 

ACT III. 

i^CENE I. — A Room in the Rose and Crown. 
Enter J£nny. 

Jen. What can be the matter? Father's come 
bonie io such a faoteague, and has brought tA\o 
CGustabJes with bun ; what caa it be about? — Si- 
mon's a thief, I dare say. 

Jin. [jvithout.] Jenny ! 

Jen. Father I — 

JiKGLE enters with two ConUahles. 

Jin. Walk in, gentlemen ; I'll atleud to yoit 
directljv Is Simon come back ? 

Jen. No, fatiier. What's ehe matter ? 

Jin. Matter eDougU. 

Jen. I'ray tell me. 

Jin. Presently ; time enough to set you a talk- 
ing — Here comes the major. 

Enter Major Aubrey and Simon. 

Maj. A. JSTow, Mr. Jingle, let me understand 
tins r.ddlebrained message; why am I brought 
here ij such haste — what is the business ? 

Jin. Mitchief's the business, major; murder 
might have been ti.3 business, but I have detect- 
ndlhe whole afTair, and as a fiiend to humanity, 
as a friecd to you and your family, have takeu 
due measures to prevent it. 

]SIaj. A. My family ! 

Jin. Yes, sir ;— your nephew, the brave Cap- 
tain Greville — 

c 4 



40 JOHN BUZZBY ; OK, 

^faj. A. ^Vll3t of luin * 

Jin. Engaijed in au affair of lioDour, sir, and 
a mcctiog appoiiltcfl iu ilie Park in less than half 
an iiour. 

Maj. A. A meeting ! with whom ? oa 
^rhat ?— fio matter, — let \\s begone instantly. 

Jin. Don't be flurried, major; no soil of oc- 
casion, Tve settled every iWaz. Tve done ray 
duty, been to Justice J oily, got his uarranl ; 
sent two constables on the look out, and kept 
two more, my worthy neighbors here, to atteod 
your pleasure. 

3Iaj. A. You have done a^cII, Mr. Jingle- 

Jin. Will the gentleman take any thing ? 

Maj, A. We have no time to lose — follow 
nie all. \ETii. 

Jin. Follow gentlemen, (to Jenny) Hold 
your tongue. 

{Exeunt Jingle and Constables. 

Jen. I mn?t till J know more. A due! ; its 
all for love Til lay my life. Dear Ensign May- 
polo is out of the scrape, thank goodne^-s, but 
tiKie can't beany harm now, and father T?ill 
bring'cm all here I dare eny. Here come Mr, 
Jirigi*;3 and his mauja. Miss Cecilia's lover 
vill call him out next, I warrant. 

Enter Nitty Brigos. 

A'flfi. What a posse ou'em : my waddling mo- 
ther ran hardly get past : sl;:;'s mad wilh me for 
letting papa Buzzby get off. 

FMtr Mrs. Buzzby, 

Mrs. B. Oh Natty ! Naity ! a proper slrai^jht 
iindM^d youth like yon, to be outrun bv John 
Suzzbv ' 



A DAF's rLEAStJRE. 47 

.Vat. Outruu ! that's a prime g:ood one ; 
liav'n't I won wagers ? didu't 1 beat Kit Cape the 
tailor, for a leg of mutton and trimmiogs, when he 
gave me such a stitch in the side : but if you 
couldn't keep up, mother, you know I can't run 
alone. 

Jen. That you can't ; every body sees 
you"' re in leading strings. 

Nat. Keep your distance, if you please; 
whei e*s the young lady ? 

Jen. Safe enough, you take care of that ; it's 
a shame for you to plague Miss, as you do, when 
she can't sympathise. 

Nat. Fiddlestick's end ! you go and sympa- 
thise with Ensign Maypole ; you can all sympa- 
thise fast enough when you liUe. 

Jen. Yes, with a proper commissioned officer, 
not with a fifer, Mr. Briggs. Exit. 

Nat. Do you hear f I'll tell her father of 
her as sure as she's born. 

3frs. B. An ignorant hussey ; who minds 
what she says. Now for our prisoner. — The 
door broke open I 

Nat. No ? — then she's ofT, to a certainty I 
{goes in.) 

Mrs. B. Gone with her Maitland ! au art« 
ful scheme from the beginning : this comes of 
pleasuring, and ray wicked husband. 

Briggs returns. 

Nat, Its all right motiier ! There she is, 
safe enough. 

3Irs. B. Why sure : — then she must be a 
good girl after all. 

Nat. And would you think it : what should 
she be readijig but my letter ? where I declare 
my eternal passion for her. 



48 JOHN BuzzBr ; ok, 

3Trs, B. You delio;ht me I 

Nat. Deliglit you ! yes, and I delight lier 
too, take my word for it. Why do you think a 
?oug sword can beat a long head, in the long run ? 
— If you had but heard her ! what are you at, 
said I, — what, saysshe, smiling ! why, enjoying, 
your elegant hand, in the absence of your elegant 
lace. Look I says she, here it is, four sides full 
«1 your eternal passion. 

Mrs. B. I don't wonder at it. Such a 
beautihil pen as you have ; and the letter you 
iTrote that Maitlaud, shall come to be the truth 
at last. 

A^at. It shall. In a week, Cecilia and I 
shall be one in spite of him. 

jy/rs. B. Let's escape, then, for after all, 
long swords, make very short work, dear, and if 
hefore you're one, he should cut you into two 
or three — 

Nat. Lud a mercy ! how you talk ! — Let's 
dine and take places — What a fury I — I shan't 
eat much as it is! — Do come along ! Exeunt. 



SCENE n. 

The Outside of Major Auhrey^s, indicated 
bij the Green Door. 

Enter Buzzby. 

Buz. Wheugh ! — What a breathing— They "re 
at fault, however, and alter all my dodging and 
doubling, here I'm once more at my friend the 
major's. Whether my head or my heels are most 



A day's I'LEASURE. 49 

to be pitied is a moot poiut, for certainly a Iiioa- 
lic escaped from his keepers, knows more what 
he's about, or what he nieaos to be about than I 
do. Skulking will never do. I may have unwill- 
ingly brougiit this poor lady into a worse scrape 
than she has biought me, but if ladies will keep 
us in the dark, what can they expect. If we 
could only comfort one another 9 if that rakehelly 
captain would but carry off Mrs. Buzzby, and 
leave her to rae — 

E7iter JvLiA from the Major^s. 

Jul. (to him.) Returned, Mr. Buzzby I 

Bus. My dear! — {Starling in alarm.) — I beg 
pardon, I took you for another lady. 

Jul. I expected you impatiently. 

Buz. I dare say, I'm in very general request 
ma'am. 

Jul. I'm really quite ashamed to make you run 
about so. 

Buzi You needn't, ma'am ; you're not singular, 
and its plain there's nothing about me to inspire 
either tenderness or ceremony. 

Jul. Do you reproach me, sir ? 

Bus. By no means, madam, quite the contrary. 
With you I begin to recover my consequence, 
and after all I have experienced, it's really quite 
refreshiog to be with you. 

Jul. My husband, sir, I am sure will be grate- 
ful for your kindness. 

Bus! Yom husband !— No Ma'am! there I 
am sure you miscalculate, I should as soon expect 
civility from my wife, as your husband. 

Jul. Why should you think so, sir ! 

Buz. I have my reasons, Ma'am, I have also 
my motivesj and very proper ones for not tellin* 



50 JOHN BUZZB¥ ; CiEy 

them to you, till you fulfil your promise of mak- 
ing the whole matter a little more intelligible to 
me. 

Jul. I proposed you should be satisfied in the 
presence of the Major. Have you seen him ? 

Bus. No, Madam, I have not. 

Jul. Not seen him, sir ! And why not ? 

Buz. Why not, Ma'am !— I have met with in- 
terruption, — saving your presence,damnable ones. 
That 1 have been pretty busy in your service, 
you can't deny — but I have no supernatural gifts, 
lam no conjuror. Ma'am, I assure you. I 
can't buz about in the dark like an owl, nor live 
in five like a salamander, 

Jul. You talk wildly, sir ? 

Bus. So woufd an archbishop, ma'am, that had 
gone through what 1 have. 

Jul. And I the cause ? 

Buz. Yes, ma'am — I don't mean to complain 
of you — not on any account — bless you, I would 
not make you unhappy for the world. 

Jut. I am truly sensible of your kindness, and 
if we could but find Major Aubrey, the cause of 
all my troubles may be removed. 

Buz. Well, well — I'll try again, 1 wish he 
may set matters to right, Avith all my heart, for 
■when I think of all I have heard — and — all 
have not heard — I begin to be seriously uneasy 
for your sake, as well as mine. 

Jid. Then pray, sir, lose no time. Perhaps at 
the military mess— 

Buz. No ma'am, I have been in one military 
mess already. 

Jul. I mean if you will enquire at the Bar- 
iracks. 

Bti^i, At the gate, ma'am, I will enquire : I'll 



A DAY S PLEASURE. 51 

go immediately. Ooly one word ; what is the 
nature, merely the nature of your errand here ? 

Jul, Briefly, sir. I came to prevent mis- 
chief, to ensure peace and tra[jquillity. 

Buz. Did you indeed ? Then, madam, I 
am sorry to say, never errand more coniplelely 
miss'd its aim. 

Jul. Have you then heard ?— • 

Bus. It's no matter, ma'am. All our hopes 
arelin the Major, and be assured, I'll not rest now 
tilll find him'. 

Major Aubrey enters. 

Maj. A. So ! this possibly may be tlje lady. 

Buz. Perhaps this may be the gentleman. 

Jul. Ask him, sir ! — 

Buz. She don't know him. Pray, sir, are 
you Major Aubrey ? 

Maj. A. I am, and this lady, T presume, \i 
Mrs. Anderson ? 

Buz. I presume it is, sir. 

Jul. I am Mrs. Anderson, sir. 

Maj. A. And seem to be surprised that I should 
know it. The truth is, madam, I have just re- 
ceived some intimation of your intention to visit 
me. 

Jul. From whom, sir ■' 

Maj. A. That you shall know presently. 

Bus. Now I shall hear the particulars — 

Maj.'A, In (he mean time madam, I am 
charged to put a serious question to you, a ques- 
tion which in my own mind, I am convinced is 
needless, but is on behalf of one, whose title to 
make it cannot be disputeil. 

Jul. Of what nature is this question, sir ? 

Maj. A, Forgive nic^ madam, but it nearly 



52 JOHN buzzby; or 

concerns your honor, which it seems has beeaj 
stranji^ely coaipromised by a certain Mr. BuzzbyJ 

Jul. By yea, sir ? 

Buz. By me, madam, I am the devil him-| 
self.— Proceed sir, pray proceed. Nothing furlherj 
jou can say of Mr. Buzzby, can be of the slight- 
est consequence. 

Maj. ^. 'Tis a pify,sir, you should so expose| 
yourself. 

Buz. It is, indeed. 

Maj. A. Your conduct is unaccountable, and j 
though I have prevented most of the mischief | 
you mi£:ht have occasioned, your wantonness, I j 
fear, wilJ not pass ULuioticed. \ 

Buz. So I am toKl, sir; you'il raise the town, j 
I dure say, and hunt me home with rotten eggs] 
and catcalls ! ? 

Maj. A. You will also, madam, instruct me as 
to the object of your visit, which will possibly, j 
in itself be m answ er to my question. • 

JuL I am anxious, sir, to do so. i 

Buz. I shall hear it at last. ^ 

Maj. A. For this gentleman, if he wishes to i 
iwake you amends, and calm the feelings he hasj 
infl'^med, I recommend h*m to a'tend instnutly ati 
the Rose a!id Crou n, where he is anxiously ex- ^ 
pected. Walk in, madam, our commuoicatiou . 
must be private. i 

(Exeunt Major Aubrev and Mrs. Andehson. j 

Buz. Come I if that isn't cool, the devil's in it, { 
I have been abused on ail hands, for my conccu j 
in this aflfair. I have waited all day to know the j 
rights of it, and now the major's come, their com- < 
municatiou must be private, I am to walk olF to | 
the Llose and Crown, or else I suppose I am ta ^ 

T 
1 

\ 

\ 



A irly's PLEASURE. 53^ 

le waylaid and duck'd in a liorsepond by these 
lad-cap troopers. It's my doom, there's no re- 
isting it ; I shall be used to it at last, so here "joes 
i^ain, in spite of run-away wives, jealous hus- 
auds, hot-brained gallants, and mother Buzzbys 
I ambuscade. Exit. 



SCENE iir. 

A Room at ilie Rose and Crown. 

Enter Jekky. 

Jen. TheyVe s\I so busy, there^s no such 
ling as getting at a word of the matter. 
Jingle enters. 

Well father ! y&u have brought the whole 
arty ? 

Jin. J have, and as sneaking a set they are, as 
fer tantalized a pains-taking publican. Not a 
)rk stirs for *em. — Milk sops, diet-diink cox- 
jmbs. Send 'em to the pastry cook. Pistols 
uly ! — pop-^uijs 1 say ? — fellows fight that 
)n't drink — fue — flash in the pan, all swagger 
id soda water. 

Jen. Don't you believe it, Captain Greville's 

Turk. 
i Jin. Turk, yes, too much of a Turk,vastly free 

ith our women, plaguy shy of our wine. If these 
ie your duellists, give me a boxing match — give 

5 your gallant bottle holders — they're the hearts 
I -keep the game alive, let the claret flow first, 

d the port afterwards, smoking bowls and bum> 
I r glasses. (bell rin^s. 

' Comins?— 



54 JOHN KUZZii:^ ; OR, I 

Jen. Oh, father ! Mr. Briggs's bill. i 

Jin. Hold your tongue — I know — chops,li; 
ehepse, and Cape Madeira. [Exit. | 

Jen. No news from lather; hi«5 head always v| 
in the till. We shall have the house full of peo-;j| 
pie before I can possibly tell 'em half Uie story.— | 
But know the truth I will. Where can Simon ^ 
be ? Oh, here he is. ] 

Simon enters. I 

Well, Simon, vhat have you heard about this j 
horrible business ? i 

Sim. Heard !— Mercy on us !— such work I , 
such deadly doings— When neighbour Wagstaff v 
the constable rushed among 'em, they were all J 
niafsacreeiu°j o' one another like a pack o* blood-, ;j 
hounds— upon which says Mr. Wagstaff, you be | 
one and all a party of pretiy chaps, and 1 arrest ■ 
you iu the king's name for high treason. V 

Jen. And what did they say ? ^ ^ 

Sim. Bless ye, not a bit daunted ; quite the ' 
contrary; nor that crazy Captain told un he were ^ 
a meddlesome blockhead, and axed how he dared 1 
for to curtail their honourable hoiricide and man- ^ 
slaughter. j 

Jeu. Well! 

Sim. Well, then you see, the pistolling bem^^ 
doue, and the smoke blowed away quite clean an(l1 
clear, up comes maister, tells 'em all to hold their j 
tonaups, and do to theirsens the pleasure to step.^ 
to tiie Kose and Crown, and settle the whole bu-^ 
siness in an amiable manner, which, wi* a deal o'^ 
politeness, they accordingly did; and here they ; 
be come, all reeking wi' gore and gunpowder, j 

Jen. But what wbs it all about ? " 

Sim, Why, that you see, I han't been able to \ 



A day's pleasure. 55 

^ef to the bottom on. But as far as I could pick 
jp, one o' tho hadversaries were wounded in his 
u'elings, upon the count of a lady, that were come 
here, unbeknown to her husband. 

Jen. Humph!— A lady come here— uube- 
known to her husband. 

Sim. Aye, or the husband were come unbe- 
iknown to her, I can't rightly say wliich. 

Jen. Simon! Simon! you know nothing 
about the matter. 

Sim. Well, I can't say as I do : howsom- 
devcr, there be an elderly geallemftn expected 
every moment, that be to clear up every thing. 

Jen. An elderly gentleman ? 

Sim. Aye. 

Jm. Then do you look out for him, Simon, 
and tell me when he comes. In five minutes 
here'll be Mrs. Parsons, and Mi^s White, and 
every one of the neighbours, aiid not to be able 
to tell them all the pfjrticulars— why they'll nev- 
er fovgive me. 

Sim. Why, should h^ve a beUer understand- 
ing, that's a' sure thing. Who be this ? may- 
hap, thegent!e;nan. 

Jen. To be sure it is. 

Sim. Stand clear. V\\ ax un. 
EuzzBY Enters. 

Buz. Come, I have arrived without nvolesta- 
lion at the Rose and Crown. A miracle !-^-and 
I hope a prognostic that my purgatory may have 
au end. None of ray plae^es yet ?— who are 

vou ? 

Sim. Us, sir ?— why axuig o' your pardon, 
sir, we be two young people as be in a lamenta- 
ble ?tatf; :.-,( jf-rioiancr. 



56 JOHN BFZZBY ; OR, 

Bux. Aye, that will happen to young and old. 

Jen. . And if you please, sir, we have some- 
thing to say to you very particular. 

Buz. Something to say to me, my dear ? 
C aside. J A message from the parties I suppose—- 

Jen. Will you take a seat, sir ? (hands a 
chair.J 

Bus. You're very kind, my dear, (aside) 
Another of the pretty creatures that lead me into 
mischief, (seats himself.) 

Jen. Of course, sir, you are acquainted with 
the sad doings, there has been in this town to- 
day. 

Buz, Yes; it's a very lively town, I'll an- 
svrer for it. 

Sim. We do mean relative to they pistol des- 
peradoes, that we be given to understand you do 
in some sort belong to. 

BuK. That I belong to ? Well, sir, proceed. 

Sim. Well, sir, they be all come here, and 
now you be come, and as miss and I be sitivated, 
we'll just trouble you to specify to us, the need- 
ful particulars of this here transaction. 

Buz. The infection rages ; the whole county 
has it. To be culled upon at last, by an ostler 
and a chambermaid, 

Sim. An ostler ! 

Jai. A chambermaid ! my nnme's Jenny 
Jinjile, sir, 

Bus. I dare say it is, my dear. 

Jen. I'll talk to him, Simon. 
Jingle enters, 

Jin. Hold your tongue ! Your servant, sir 
— talk ol the devil, and — begging your pardon, 
sir, I'm sent for you. You are anxiously ex- 



A DJLY'* PLEISUKK. 57 

p^cted — you are the person, I presume, that four 
constables, three geutlcmea, and cue lady, have 
been askinj; for. 

Bus. Nothing more likely. The name of 
the gentlemen, if you please ? 

Jin. The three principal, Greville, Mait- 
land, and Anderson. 

Bus. And the lady's ? 

Ji7i. Buzzby. 

Bux. Show me to the gentlemen, and the la- 
dy to the devil. [Exeunt. 

Enter Anderson ajid two constables. 

And. Well, gentlemen; I suppose I may 
dispense with your company. 

Con* May be so, sir, but we can't dispense 
with y wirs, till you've seen the justice, and ibuod 
your sureties. 

And. You'll depend upon my honour, I sup- 
pose. 

Con. Why, begging your honour's pardon, we 
can't take upon us to trust it alone. When Ma- 
jor Aubrey comes back, mayhap he'll bring jus- 
tice's authority. 

Enter Maitlxnd. 

Mait. Mr. Anderson, I have consulted Cap- 
tain Greville^s brother ofTicers, and since you 
have exchiingf^d shots, and his life has therefore 
been offered to appease your feelings, I am allow- 
ed to sHy, that he instructed me previous to your 
arrival, to restore these letters to Mrs. Ander- 
son, with every becoming apology for his conduct 
respecting them. 

And. And why, sir, was I not informed of 
this ? 



58 JOHN buzzby; ok, ] 

Mait, Captain Greville forbade it. You iiad ; 
proceeded loo impetuously, tor a soldier's liooour I 
to pause upon any compromise. ' 

And. If that is the case, sir, when other points , 
are cleared up, I shall act towards Captain Gre- ^ 
ville as becomes me. But as I do iioi wish to be ! 
exposed to the curiosity of the neighbours, I \ 
shall retire for the present, and wait the return of j 
Major Aubrey with Mrs. Andereon, and the | 
strange person who escorted her. I shall then, I ! 
trust, Lte enabled to make to all parties that repa- ■■ 
ratioQ which at present appears due to them. ] 
[Exit Anderson andtivo Constables. I 

Grev. (without.) When my uncle and the ; 
lady arrive, you'll let rac know. \ 

Geeville enters with Jenny. ' 

Maitland, my boy ! Jenny and I were looking for \ 

you. j 

Mait. What is become of your attendants ? | 

Grev. The constables ? I've turned them over ; 

to Jingle; he answers lor me, and as I ihrealen- ] 

ed to kick the fellows, they said they were i^ure ■ 

I sliould keep the peace, and obligingly kept their j 

distance. | 

Mait. Ha ! ha ! ha !-« j 

Grev. You maij laugh — we have news for you^ i 

rare news. Your mistress — your Nottingham- , 

shire beauty, is now here. ! 

Mait. Here?— | 

Grev. In this house. j 

B'lait. Cecilia! ' 

Jen Yes, that's her namc—^hc's here with ! 

Mrs Buzzby and her son Mr. Briggs. ' 

Mait. 'Tis clear, theu. \ 



A DAY S PLEASURE. :)9 

(iirv. Clear ! why I have seen her — 'acUvely 
scrvei! her. 

Jen, Made love to her. 

Grcv. Hush ! 

Maii. Grcville! 

Grcv. Nonsense ! — Ye jade, would you havr 
me shot at like a wild ^cost ?— I tell you, she'u 
pradcucG itself — discreet as a vestal — her ver} 
look av/ed me, and then away she ran in search 
of you. 

Jen. Yes, sir, and has been all day trying to 
send you a letter. 

Matt- I can't credit it ! — after what was writ- 
ten me I — 

Grev. There's the niyslcry. We must iinra. 
vei ii — 

Jfait. With that intention, I have alre?tdy Id'i 
a letter for her guardian at the bar. 

Jen. He has got it, and here comes tiic otherf. 

jyait. 'Tisshe! and tlie puppy that accoste.(i 
me. 

Grcv. Keep aloof. I'll cntertani tiie old lady, 
>v})i!c you steal a word with the young one. 

Eider Mrs. Eizzby, Cecilia, fi?if/ Natty. 

Mrs. B. Come along. You have been out. 
Miss ? 

Nat. What did you go out for ? 

Ccc. To nieet you, to be sure. 

jYat. How ami to be sure ? 

Ccc. Can you look in the glass and doubt it ■ 

Nat. Well, she argues la'ioual. 

Cec. (catches a sight of Maitiand.) All ! 

Grev. (at the same moment meeting I\Tr?. B. , 
Heaven and eai-h^ I'm struck ! 

3Jrj. B. Sir ! 



60 JOHN buzzby; or, 

Grcv. What an exquisite person ! 

Nat. Whnt, mother ! 

Grcv. 'Tis she ! — the Cyprian herself, the ce- 
lestial moiher of Cupid ! 

A^at. Well, that's handsome to both of us. 

Mrs, B. What can the gentleman mean? 

Grcv. Mean ! — more than ! cau express, ma- 
dam ! — my head turns round — support me — 
(stac^gers on Natbj. ) 

Mrs. B. (going tip.) He's taken ill ! — What 
can be the matter with you ? 

G^ev. I am better, madam — I am rather bet- 
ter, every moment will improve me. But don't 
leave me — observe me, sir — observe me closely. 
I)o you mark the changes of my agitated counte- 
nance ? 

Nat. Yes, yes, I see ! 

Mrs. B. He's out of liis min<l ! 

Mait. (claps htm on the shoulder. J So, my 
younj^ friend — 

Nat. Ble?8 my soul, another of them ! — Mr. 
Maitl;u](l a<rain ! 

3Irt. B. (to GrevUle, holding her.) Let me 



go, sir 



Grcv. Doii't be alarmed, ma'an), we are both 
as quiet as lambs — only hear him. 

Mrs. B. \Vel!, sir, what has he to pay lo us ? 

Mnit. Simply, madum, that I have detected 
your base double deaiinjr, the jjross falsehoods 
you have attempted to iinpose on me, relative to 
the inclinations of tliis la<ly. 

Nat. Falsehood?, !^ir ? 

Mait. Yes, sir! 1 know the consequences of 
what 1 say; I well know the ferocity of your 
character, and that I expose my life in thus ex- 
pressing myself: but if you iunist — 



A day's plkasube. 61 

Nat Sir, I do not insist. And let me tell you, 
^?lioev( r gave ) ou such a character of me» told a 
much greater falsehood than either mother or I : 
its no busiucss of ours — its all father-in-law's do- 
ings. 

Mait. If that is the case — 

Buz. (without.) Nobody forthcoming ? 

BuizBY enters. 

Here they are at last. 

Mait. Now, Mr. Buzzby — 
Mrs. B. Now, Mr. Buzzby — 

Enter Anderson, Mrs. Anderson, Major 
Aubrey, a/it/ two Constables. 

And. Here he is. Now, Mr. Buazby, if you 
please — 

Buz. One at a time. Where are the consta- 
bles? 

Const. Here we be ! 

Bus. (pointing to Mrs. B.J Take charge of 
that old lady for five minutes. 

Mrs. B. Insolent ! 

Const. You musuH disturb business, ma-am. 

Buz, Now, sir, make yourself intelligible, if 
you can. 

And. That is a request I should make to you. 
Did you not say you were employed to bring 
Captain Greville to Mrs. Anderson ? 

Buz. No, sir — I said I was in search of an 
officer, meaning Major Aubrey ; and that for fur- 
ther information, you might apply to Captain 
Greville. If gentlemen can't keep their under- 
standings clear, I'm sorry for it. 

And. Sir, I'm satisfied, and can excuse your 
reflection. To Captain Greville I may now say 



02 JOHN EUZZBY J OK; \ 

i 

< 

the same. I am truly sorry our unseasonable \ 
mcctios: should have prevented those honourabio j 
Intentions of which I am now insliucted. j 

Grcv. You were entitled, sir, to your own i 
mode ot" satisfaction, and as I have oifered it in j 
every form, I have removed, 1 hope, both your \ 
displeasure, and the lady's. ! 

And. Tlie affviir, sir, is hencefortli forgotten. ' 

Buz. Then I shall kuow nothing of it after all. ] 

3IaiL But uiine, Mr. Buzzby. 

Bkz. Yours, sir, I have penetrated. The let- ; 
ter you left lor sue it tlie I5ar has thrown daylight ; 
upon that mystery. Your civil coujecture in my | 
favour, sir, was well founded. Breaking of seals { 
is a serious matter — there are the culprits, and if \ 
you have any mind to ship 'em olf for Fort Jack- | 
aon, the olliceis will do their duty. 



M'S. B. Islonsters 



JS''aL .it's all you. ;; 

Buz. With respect to your merits, sir, you \ 
fiTu^t allow me to be a little inquisitive in my ; 
turn. Tijat point settled, only promise not to J 
pi3£;ue my ward, as you have me, and where she j 
has given her heart, her hand shall follow — You ,' 
shall have it. ' \ 

Mrs. B, He shall ? — then when you come | 
heme, Mr. Bujtzby, depend upon it you shall 
have it. Exit. ] 

?yat. If ever I come out on a party of pita- ^ 
sure a«ain, I wish I may be blown up in a steam *j 
boat. — (i(oing.) J 

Buz. I wish you may, Mr. BrJggs. | 

Enter Jingle. ;: 

Jin. Mr. Briggs ! | 

loiii bill, sir. i 



i. DAY*S PLEASURE. 63 

JYat. Go to the devil- £xit. 

Grev. Jingle, stop ; as I have been the great 
cause of assembling this party, what remains of 
it, I hope, will do me the honour to pick a friend- 
ly bone with me, now the bone of contention is 
laid aside. 

Buz. With all my heart, sir. 
^ Jin. Carried, nem. con. 

Jen, Oh ! if Ensign Maypole — 

3in. Hold your toague. Captain Greville, 
youVe a gentleman — I always said so: you shall 
have a dinner, worthy of you and the Rose and 
Crown. 

Buz. And I shall cheat my evil genius at last, 
have my day out with a jolly gentlemanly party, 
and find, I hope, some favour for honest 

JOHN BUZZBY! 



THE END. 



D S 



A COMIC MEDLEY, 

IN THUEE PARTS. 
WRITTEN BY W. T. MON CRIEFF, Est^r. 

FOR, AND 

SUNG BF, MR, SLOMAN. 



PART ONE. 
The Nightingale club in a village was held, 
At the sign of the Cabbage and Shears, 
"Where the singers no doubt would have greatly exceli'd 
But for want of — 

Four-and-twenty fiddlers all of a row, &c. 
Peaceful slumbering — 
At the town of nate Clogheen — 
Where the graces they were culling posies — 
And found the finest ram, sirs, that ever was fed on hay 
This ram was fat behind sirs, this ram was fat before, 
This ram was — 

A flaxen headed cowboy as simple as may be, 
And next a merry ploughboy wiio sung — 
Old King Cole was a merry old soul, 
A merry old soul was he, 
He called for — 

The lass of Patic's mill, so bonny, biythe and gav. 
In spite of all my skill, sl»e stole — 
A bold dragoon, w ith liis — 
Oh dear what can the matter be. 
Dear, dear, what can the matter be ?— 
I'or of all the girls that arc so smart, 
There's none like little iivAly, 
She is the darling of ray heart, 
And slie lives — 
With Robin Adair, 
What made the ball so fine. 
What made the assembly shiue : 
Oh it was — 

The rum old Commodore, 
The fighting old Commodore, 
For the bullets and the gout 
Have so knocked your hull about, 
That yoH'II never be fit for — 
The Maid of Lodi, who sweetly sung to the— 
Call again to-morrow, call again to-morrow, 
Can't yoUj caa't you, call again to-morrow ? 



( 65 ) 

PART TWO. 
A master 1 have, and I am his man, 
Callopping dreary duii, 
And he'll get — 
A regiment of Irish dragoons, 
And they were quartered — 
In a mouldering cave, the abode of despair, 
Where Britannia was weeping her loss, 
She mourned for her Wolfe and exclaimed in despair— 
'Twas in the good ship Rover, I sail'd the world 

around, 
And for ten years and over I ne'er touched — 
Roy's wife of Aldivalloch, 
Roy's wife of Aldivalloch, 
"Wot ye how she cheated me — 
In the bay of Biscay, O !— ' 
Cease rude Boreas, blustering railer, 
List ye Land'smen all to me, 
Messmates, hear a brother sailor, sing— 
O hush thee my darling. 
The hour will soon come. 
When thy sleep will be broken by— 
The woodpecker tapping the hollow beech tree. 
The woodpecker tapping — 
Poor Sally's wooden ware. 
Who all for money barters. 
Her pins, her toys, her top-knots rare, 
Jler bodkins. Jace, and — 
Paddy Shannon high mounted on his trotting little 

poney, 
Set off on a journey from L?ather-lane to Bow, 
To ogle Widow Wilkins, whom he courted for her 

money. 
And tugging at his bridle, cried — 
Don't I look spruce on my neddy. 
In spite of his kicking and prancing. 
Gee up, and gee ho, and stand steady, 
Mister Neddy I'm not fond of dancing — 
When absent from her my soul holds most dear, 
Wiiat a medley of passions, what a medley of— 
Old chairs to mend. 
Old chairs to mend — 
Very good song, very well sung, 
Jolly companions every one — 



(66) J 

Thus the nightin£;a1e club c:!uly kept up their clamour, J 
And were nightly knock'd down by the president's ^§ 
liammer, M 

Were nightly, were nightly knvock'd down, | 

Knock'd down by the president's banuner. 

PART THREE. 

Your pardon kind gentlefolks, pray, 

I'm called to roar out the song, sirs. 

And when a lad's called on they say — 

Coinc bustle iiL'ighbour Prig, 

Buckle on your sunday wig. 

In our Sunday clothes so gaily — 

Totjether let us range the fields — 

While the wolf in nightly j)rovvl, 

Bays the moon with — ■ 

Will you come to the bower, 

1 have shaded for you, 

Your bed shall be — 

On the spot in ancient lore oft named — 

Where Giles Scroggins courted Molly Brown, 

Hi tol de rol de ra, 

The fairest wench in all the town, 

Ki tol de riddle lol de ra 

If you loves F as I loves you — 

On this cold flintj' rock, I will lay down my head, 

And sweetly will sing — 

Bound 'prentice to a waterman, I learn't a bit to row 

But bless your heart I always was so gay — 

That to treat an old woman in Yorkshire, 

In Yorkshire she did dwell ; 

She loved — ■ 

Billy Taylor, a brisk young fellow, 

Wery full of mirth, wery full of glee. 

And his mind did diskiver, to — 

A frog he would a wooing go, 

Heijjho ! says Rowlej', 

Vvhcther Im mother would let him or no, 

With his— 

Here's a health to all good lasses, 

Here's a heahh to — j 

God save great George our king, ] 

I;an^ live our noble king, |j 

God suvc the kiriij. *y 

LB je '!3 ^ '^"^ il 



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